Man all the stuff I wrote in my last few entries before I forgot about this place escaped my brain pretty damn fast. Anyway its ironic to see my last entry especially, feel like I've been wasting more time each day. At least I haven't been caught up in either FFXI or WoW so thats always good, haha. I do know that when FFXIV comes out I'll blow off any progress I make toward actually focusing on what I'm going to do with my life.

I have also been thinking about how I really don't want to go through the process of marketing myself to find a job, and being employed by someone to help actualize their ideas instead of my own seems depressing. The thought occurred to me in my first marketing class(which btw seems like a waste of money to take considering everything that is taught in it was the general material that high school economics covers) when we watched a video about someone who worked hard to become a comic artist for Marvel and ended up quitting to start his own business becoming a huge success, I should probably remember his name but it escapes me...

Anyway I think I'd end up feeling the same way, even though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a heck of an employee. I'm way to motivated by what people think of me... not a great trait to have if I ever want to be a boss or a good artist for that matter.

Spent the last couple days looking into photoshop. Was ready and willing to give the trial version a shot when the program started failing on me. After wasting hours of my time I read into the system requirements and now I suspect my old(rapidly getting older) laptop probably doesn't have the necessary hardware... *sigh*

Well I guess I'm stuck with Open Canvas for now. Have a few neat ideas, most of which were the reason I wanted to try and get photoshop up and running but I think I'll be able to get them done in Open Canvas... maybe someday I'll have the cash for a nice new desktop and maybe even enough for photoshop (lol$300wut!?).

More work shifts, bleh~ Fewer days till I move into my apartment, yay~

Definitely writing another entry too soon as there is nothing to report. However...

My mind seems to be a jumble lately. Partly wishing for that nostalgic feeling that they portray in anime a LOT. Not sure why... I think I'm really missing the college atmosphere or something. Seems harder to say "Wtf just make the day better, its not on anyone else."

Anyway gotta work on another piece soon, falling behind again. The idea of making my own story is calling me again. Its probably reinforced by the fact that I've been watching a lot of anime that just isn't up to snuff lately.

Not much to report~ I'm way behind on finishing images as quickly as I could. If it means anything I have been unmotivated because of work lol. Anyway I don't have any shifts lined up anymore, its not a good thing and yet I'm really glad.

Well I think I'll be focusing on anime fan-art for a bit. Lately my ideas just aren't original enough lol.

It has been too long since I've really enjoyed the time I have spent. Now I feel I have wasted far too much of it away. Finally started asking what the heck it is I want to do. I think if I can just get myself to figure out what I can't live without I'll be able to get myself out of this big hole I've somehow dug I wont be going down without a fight!!

On a lighter note, friend who spent the last year in Japan finally came home 2 days ago! I didn't really notice how much I missed him until he I actually saw him again at the airport. Really jealous of his experiences, gah! But he'll just have to show me around when I find my way over there. Thats something I know I want.